I’m an author from Southern California
I am also a freelance Digital Media Manager.
I follow the Los Angeles Lakers, LA Galaxy, USMNT, and Arsenal FC.
In the past, I’ve worked for/with: Paste Magazine, Absolutepunk.net, Sony Music, Columbia Records, Total MLS, and was a tour manager/artist manager for various bands like Madina Lake, Audio Karate, and Steel Train.
Onward and Upward podcast — a weekly podcast that is sort of like an extension of my blog. …
It feels like I don’t have any time to myself anymore and more importantly, I don't have any time to be MYSELF.
The past year has been hard. I’m sure I am not alone in saying that but it truly was.
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of great things happened too but right now, I am feeling the effects of all the stress and anxiety come crashing down.
Whenever I was feeling down, I would escape to a coffee shop to do some reading and writing but obviously, I haven’t been able to do that for the past seven months.
I know there are other alternatives but I just don’t do it when I know I should.
These past couple of weeks have been pretty weird for me.
I’ve had this pit/feeling in my stomach and I can’t really figure out what it is.
It could be stress.
Or both, I guess.
I have been busy and haven’t really taken some time for myself like I have in the past.
On one hand, I should be grateful that I have a job and am doing pretty good but on the other hand, I am not actually doing all that well.
There are times where I know I should take a step back and take a breath but anxiety takes over when I know I have a lot to accomplish that day/week.
I just need to force myself to do it or else this shitty feeling will consume my body and mind up and I’ll end up worse than I was in the past.
I am never doing enough.
I have tons of ideas in my head and in countless notebooks but they don’t mean anything if I don’t execute them.
Or even make an attempt to execute them.
This is one of my largest flaws in life.
I believe I have done a lot but I could always do more.
Maybe that is what is wrong with me. I want to do so much that I can’t muster the motivation to do at least one thing.
So take this blog post as my attempt to get off my ass and doing something.
Hopefully, I can keep this going.
For my sake.
I am, just like many other people around the world, in my house and have pretty much been locked in my house for the past week or so.
I don’t know what day it is anymore but does it really matter?
I usually work from home anyways but I like leaving my house to work at a coffee shop for a change of scenery or step out to lunch.
That was my “break” away from work but now, I can’t really go anywhere.
I understand what is going on and why we need to practice social distancing but I am starting to go a bit crazy. …
I need to learn to speak up more. I’ve been working on this flaw/weakness of mine for the past few years but there are times where I regress to my old ways.
Even when I do speak up, I feel like I am not taken seriously. I feel like my opinions don’t matter and that’s when I get discouraged. I feel my self-esteem dip just a little bit.
On the other hand, when other people voice their ideas and concerns, I dome best to listen and work with them so they know they are heard and that their options matter to me. …
Throughout my childhood and into my teens, I carried around a piece of paper in my wallet that said: “be well off by 35”. It was my only goal in life other than becoming a pilot in the Air Force but my low self-esteem prevented me from achieving that goal.
I never considered myself good enough for a lot of things, actually, but that’s another story for another day.
The other goal of being well off by 35, however, was and still is on my mind since I was a child. …
The first month of 2020 has come and gone.
It was ok.
Not that great but not that bad either. It was more good than bad but I’m not complaining.
I’m still procrastinating and I don’t want my biggest flaw of 2019 to carry over to this year.
I don’t know why but I usually get lazy towards the end of the year. My creativity slows down and I don’t write as many blogs as I want to. The same with recording my podcast because I was doing so well for most of 2019.
I’m not in a rut or at least I don’t think so. …
Soccer brings me joy but it also brings me pain and anxiety.
It can make me feel like a million bucks but it could also make me feel like I’ve had my heart ripped out my chest.
It gives me something to believe in.
It’s the treat at the end of the week that I look forward to all week.
While none of the sports teams I follow have won anything in the past couple of years, I still watch and root for them.
It’s my Disneyland.
It’s my heroin.
It’s my life.
It was a pretty fun trip and was just the right amount of time.
We saw a lot of bands and hung out with some new/old friends.
I made it a point to do very minimal work because I’ve been stressed out to the max these past few weeks so it was good to get away for a few days.
We didn’t get a lot of sleep during the trip but I feel energized and am ready to go back to work.
These next few months will be important to my life and career. …